At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
