too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize