My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
