can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
