My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
