im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
