I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
id be glad to
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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