Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
