Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you will always have a special place in my vag
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
