when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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