the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
