you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
