im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
