He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
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