Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize