who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
