Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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