Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
