Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
