College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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