Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
