I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
