So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
