Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
