I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize