I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
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This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
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note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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