the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
