I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
