i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.