Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless