All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay