We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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