Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We left an ass print on the piano.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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