I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
