I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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