he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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