I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
