i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize