I puked a lego.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Randomize
