My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
