If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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