Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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