you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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