i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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