So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
