i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
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I just got carded by a ten year old.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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