yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize