Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
