i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
