So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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