you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize