i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
did you just send me my own nude
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
