Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
