I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Randomize