why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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