Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
