I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
