He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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