even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Dicks are not precious.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
